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Patches are optional, but incredibly useful things that players can add onto armor and weapons to give a variety of effects.

Below is a list of patches, organized by their effects. Missable patches are bolded.

Weapon Strap-OnsEdit

Fire DamageEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Fire patch
Lit Match Adds 10 Fire Damage on Perfect Attack. 3 Kupa Keep (Shop)
Zippo Lighter Adds 25 Fire Damage on Perfect Attack. 7 Loot from one of the 6th graders fought during Nonconformist
Small Butane Torch Adds 50 Fire Damage on Perfect Attack. 9 Sewers (Near Cornwallis)
Brimstone Adds 100 Fire Damage on Perfect Attack. 13 Clyde's Fortress (looted from Craig)

Frost DamageEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Frost patch
Ice Cube 25 Frost Damage on Perfect Attack. 6 Kyle's House (Fridge)
Moon Rock Adds 50 Frost Damage on Perfect Attack. 8 Taco Bell (Truck outside building)
Frozen Maple Syrup Adds 100 Frost Damage on Perfect Attack. 12 Canada (chest across the river on main map)

Gross DamageEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Gross patch
Dead Bird Adds 5 Gross Damage on Perfect Attack. 2 Street Merchant
Tuft of Ginger Pubic Hair Adds 20 Gross Damage on Perfect Attack. 4 South Park Elementary (Loot from the first ginger you fight)
Animal Testicle Adds 30 Gross Damage on Perfect Attack. 6 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Penis Mouse
Zombie Flesh Adds 50 Gross Damage on Perfect Attack. 8 South Park Elementary (Loot from one of the Nazi Zombie gingers in the basement)
Wad of Liposuction Fat Adds 100 Gross Damage on Perfect Attack. 11 Unplanned Parenthood (First destroyed hallway you enter, near the Waste Disposal sign)

Shock DamageEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Elecdamage
Lightning Sticker Adds 10 Shock Damage on Perfect Attack. 3 Kupa Keep (Shop)
Alien Energy Crystal Adds 15 Shock Damage on Perfect Attack. 5 Alien Spaceship (Chest in the console room on the lower right side)
Small Battery Adds 25 Shock Damage on Perfect Attack. 6 In school
Tesla Coil Adds 50 Shock Damage on Perfect Attack. 8 Taco Bell (Room with recorder, right cabinet)
Lightning Rod Adds 100 Shock Damage on Perfect Attack. 13 Acquired in Clyde's Tower, from one of the enemies called a Cyclops

BleedingEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Jagged and Sharp patches
Toothpick Adds 1 Bleeding on Perfect Attack. 2 Street Merchant
Drill Bit Adds 2 Bleeding on Perfect Attack. 7 South Park Elementary (Fifth Grade Classroom)
IV Needle Adds 3 Bleeding on Perfect Attack. 11 Unplanned Parenthood (Drawer in the hallway by the Records Room)
Bayonette Adds 5 Bleeding on Perfect Attack. 14 Clyde's Fortress (Shop)

Damage Increase (Constant)Edit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Damage patch Skull Sticker Adds 5 damage to weapon attacks. 2 Police Station Locker
Demon Sticker Adds 20 damage to weapon attacks. 6 Police Station Roof
Roll of Quarters Adds 50 damage to weapon attacks. 8 Elven Kingdom (Shop)
Wooden Grip Adds 80 damage to weapon attacks. 10 Token's House (Chest inside the chimney)
Metal Grip Adds 100 damage to weapon attacks. 12 South Park Bus Stop (Secret area behind a tree. Use Gnome Dust to go under the log when there.)
Rubber Grip Adds 250 damage to weapon attacks. 14 Canada (Ottawa Goods and Supplies)

Damage Increase (Percentage)Edit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Jagged and Sharp patches
Glass Shard Adds 10% damage on Perfect Attack. 3 South Park Elementary (Brass Key room. Loot from one of the gingers.)
Shattered Anal Probe Adds 15% damage on Perfect Attack. 5 Alien Spaceship (Upper right section of probing mantenance. Requires probe)
Razor Blade Adds 20% damage on Perfect Attack. 7
Obsidian Shard Adds 30% damage on Perfect Attack. 11 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Canadian Barking Spider
Wire Hangar Adds 35% damage on Perfect Attack. 12 Unplanned Parenthood (room where Randy is)
Broken Saw Blade Adds 40% damage on Perfect Attack. 13 Under table of the shop in Clyde's Fortress (requires gnome dust)

Drain LifeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Vampire patch
Cult Pamphlet Drain up to 25 HP from bleeding targets. 5 Kupa Keep (Shop)
Plastic Vampire Teeth Drain up to 50 HP from bleeding targets. 8 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Bloodsucking Fruit Bat
Grave Dirt Drain up to 100 HP from bleeding targets. 12 East of Big Gay Al's/Mr. Slave's house (In the garage that doesn't open all the way. Requires Gnome Dust.)
Hot Topic Catalog Drain up to 250 HP from bleeding targets. 14 Clyde's Fortress (Shop)

Armor PiercingEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Armor piercing patch
Small Needle Attacks ignore up to 5 armor. 2 Jimmy's House (Basement, in the washer.)
Small Nail Attacks ignore up to 30 armor. 6 Bought from Jason in the Elven Kingdom
Chef's Skewer Attacks ignore up to 60 armor. 7 South Park Elementary (Behind serving counter, on the right side of the kitchen. Check the cabinet)
Gnome Pickaxe Head Attacks ignore up to 100 armor. 10 Wall inside your house during Defeat the Underpants Gnomes (In the second wall area, to the far left.)
Dire Bear Claw Keychain Attacks ignore up to 200 armor. 12 Canada (Winnipeg Block and Tackle)
Shard of the Dark Lord's Crown Attacks ignore up to 400 armor. 14 Clyde's Fortress (the level where Ike is, chest on the left side)

BlockingEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Blocking patch
Wooden Crossguard Deflect 10% more damage when you block. 2 Jimmy's House (Upstairs hallway)
Iron Crossguard Deflect 15% more damage when you block. 6 Bought from Jimbo for $5
Wooden Hilt Deflect 20% more damage when you block. 10 Bought from Jimbo for $10
Iron Hilt Deflect 25% more damage when you block. 13 Bought from Jimbo for $20

Shield SmashEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Shield smash patch
Small Shield Sticker Attacks remove an additional 1 from shields. 2 Jimmy's Garage
Large Shield Sticker Attacks remove an additional 3 from shields. 7 Bought from Mr. Mackey for $5
Broken Shield Sticker Attacks remove an additional 5 from shields. 12 Canada (Vancouver's Everything's Coming Up Maple)

Gain Power PointsEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Sparkly Heart Sticker Gain 1 PP on Perfect Attack. 3 Jimmy's House (Jimmy's parents' nightstand)
Sparkly Star Sticker Gain 2 PP on Perfect Attack. 7
Sparkly Unicorn Sticker Gain 4 PP on Perfect Attack. 11 Get 100000 points in the makeover before Unplanned Parenthood (Quest).

DazeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Bottle of Eau de Maple Syrup Target attacks less frequently. 12

Bonus HPEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Healing patch
Fortitude Patch Gain 20% bonus HP after a magic attack. 12 Canada (Winnipeg Block and Tackle)

MultihitEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Multihit patch
Ninja Sticker Adds 1 extra hit to melee weapons. 9 Fourth Grade Classroom, looted from a chest.

Power HitEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
5lb. Weight Increases Power Attack damage for melee weapons. 8

Destroy ArmorEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Rend patch
Jewpacabra Claw Reduces target's armor by 100 on Perfect Attack 14 Clyde's Fortress (Ground level, Terrance and Phillip backpack)

Reduce DefenseEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Weaken patch
Page of Unfinished Homework Reduces target's defenses on Perfect Attack 8 Community Center (Shop)

Reduce AttackEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Numb patch
Joy Buzzer Lowers Enemy Attack on Perfect Strike 12 Found in a chest inside Ottawa Castle

Armor PatchesEdit

ArmorEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Armor patch
Suit of Armor Patch Adds 5 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 1 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Farm Cow
Alien Defensive Matrix Adds 7 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 4 Alien Spaceship (Upper section of probing maintenance, in a chest)
Samurai Warrior Patch Adds 10 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 5 Police Station (roof)
Exoskeleton Patch Adds 15 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 7 Crab People cave (Right side)
Self Defense Patch Adds 25 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 10 In the crack at City Sushi (requires gnome dust)
Tactical Armor Pad Adds 40 armor, reducing enemy attacks. 14 Mr. Slave's Ass (Loot from a SWAT soldier)

Constant SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Constant surge patch
Cheerleader's Patch Gain 1 PP each turn. 3 Mr. Mackey's office, behind the desk. During Detention Sentence
South Park Cows Patch Gain 3 PP each turn. 7 South Park Elementary (In the vent area. Requires probe.)
Dairy Council Patch Gain 5 PP each turn. 13 Clyde's fortress (Gnome tunnel)

Melee SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Shard of a Beer Bottle Gain 1 PP when you deal a melee attack. 3 Street Merchant
Sword Patch Gain 2 PP when you deal a melee attack. 7 Looted from Stan or Butters at South Park Elementary

Ranged SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Bow and Arrow Patch Gain 1 PP when you deal a ranged attack. 3 Jimmy's House (Attic)
Amazon Patch Gain 2 PP when you deal a ranged attack. 7

Killing SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Action Hero Badge Gain 2 PP when you kill an opponent. 3 Movie Theater
Boxing Badge Gain 5 PP when you kill an opponent. 7 South Park Elementary (Loot from a foe at the fire hose, in the cafeteria)

Defensive SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Crossed Swords Patch Gain 1 PP when you block an attack. 6 Kupa Keep (shop)
Sword and Shield Patch Gain 2 PP when you block an attack. 10 Bought from Jimbo for $10

Suffering (Taking Damage Surge)Edit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Don't Tread on Me Patch Gain 1 PP when you take damage. 10 Your parents' dresser during Defeat the Underpants Gnomes
Ankh Pendant Gain 2 PP when you take damage. 13

Healing SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Red Cross Badge Gain 1 PP when healed. 4 U-Stor-It (roof)

Fiery SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Flaming Sword Patch Gain 2 PP when you deal fire damage. 3 Tower of Peace (2nd floor, requires key from same floor)
Burning Skull Patch Gain 5 PP when you deal fire damage. 10 In South Park Sewers (Use Gnome Dust and go through the hole)

Freezing SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Snowflake Patch Gain 2 PP when you deal frost damage. 6 On top of Photo Dojo (Requires probe)
Frozen Skull Patch Gain 5 PP when you deal frost damage. 12

Shocking SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Battery Label Gain 1 PP when you deal shock damage. 8 South Park Elementary (Basement)
High Voltage Warning Label Gain 3 PP when you deal shock damage. 12 Photo Dojo (when you get your picture taken)

Disgusting SurgeEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Surge patch
Shit-Stained Badge Gain 2 PP when you deal gross damage. 4 Chest outside Kenny's house (to the right of the garage)
Mr. Yuck Patch Gain 5 PP when you deal gross damage. 11 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Mutant Bacteria

Melee Damage IncreaseEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Damage increase patch
Duelist's Patch Melee attacks inflict 10 more damage. 4 Near the house to the right of the community center
Pentagram Patch Melee attacks inflict 50 more damage. 8 Taco Bell (Loot from first Nazi Zombie)
Iron Skewers Melee attacks inflict 100 more damage. 11 South Park Elementary Kitchen (get Chef's P.O. box key)
Barbarian Patch Melee attacks inflict 200 more damage. 13 Canada (Caverns of Quebec, looted from the six dire animals)

RegenerationEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Regeneration patch
Bubble Gum Wrapper Heal 5 HP each turn in combat. 4 South Park Elementary (Loot from ginger boss)
Candy Bar Wrapper Heal 25 HP each turn in combat. 6 Bought from Jason in the Elven Kingdom for $5
Rock Candy Wrapper Heal 50 HP each turn in combat. 9 South Park Elementary (First room of the basement)
Golden Ticket Heal 100 HP each turn in combat. 12 South Park Bank (Use Gnome Dust and go through the hole behind the desk

Ranged Damage IncreaseEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Rangedpatch
Arrow Patch Ranged Attacks do 5 more damage. 4 Jimmy's House (Kitchen)
Valkyrie Patch Ranged Attacks do 40 more damage. 8 Sewers (Near the beginning)
Elven Archer Patch Ranged Attacks do 80 more damage. 12 King's Forest in Kyle's backyard (gnome dust needed)
Ranger Patch Ranged Attacks do 100 more damage. 14 Banff (the chest on the right side of the church)

ThornsEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Thorns patch
Studded Dog Collar Melee-attacking enemies take up to 10 damage. 2 Get from Jimbo as a reward for defeating Rabid Junkyard Dog
Thorny Branch Melee-attacking enemies take up to 25 damage. 8 Bought from Jason in the Elven Kingdom for $5
Demon Claw Melee-attacking enemies take up to 75 damage. 12 Banff General Store

Increase Max HPEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
HP Increase patch
Elvish Loyalty Patch Increases max HP by 5%. 6 Elven Kingdom (Near the base of the tree.)
Miner's Patch Increases max HP by 10%. 10 Your room (Loot from underpants gnome during Defeat the Underpants Gnomes.)
Brown Badge of Courage Increases max HP by 15%. 13 Mr. Slave's Ass (Stomach)

Less Health, More DamageEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Vengeance patch
ManBearPig Ear Deal 15% more damage when below 20% health. 8 Al Gore after un-friending
White Whale Patch Deal 20% more damage when below 20% health. 11 Chest in Jimbo's
Six-Fingered Hand Patch Deal 30% more damage when below 20% health. 14 Clyde's Fortress (Shop)

Extra HealingEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Healing patch
Healer's Patch Regain 25 extra HP when healed. 3 Janitor closet in school
Socialized Medicine Patch Regain 100 extra HP when healed. 10 Banff General Store
Purple Heart Badge Regain 250 extra HP when healed. 14 Loot from ManBearPig during "Defeat ManBearPig"

Extra MoneyEdit

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Magnet
Buckyball Magnets Gain 10% additional money. 3 Police station (Evidence room, chest on the right side)
Small Magnet Gain 20% additional money. 7 Kyle's House (Garage)

Bow DamageEdit

TBA

Thrown Weapon DamageEdit

TBA

Picture Name Effect Level Location
Moldy Patch Deal 10% more Gross Damage. 7 Kupa Keep (Shop)
Axe Patch Deal 10% more 2-Handed Weapon damage. 7 Kupa Keep (Shop)
Crossed Swords Patch Gain 1 PP when you block an attack. 6 Kupa Keep (Shop)

Equipment Patches Edit

Ewww... Edit

  • Moldy Patch -
  • Fungus Patch - Mr. Slave's Ass (Loot from bacteria just past the Phone)

Life Drain Edit

  • Ghost Patch - In the Church. Inside Father Maxi's room, the cabinet on the left.
  • ManBearPig Hoof - 
  • Prenuptial Document - At the Pleases and Sparkles Club.

Brutish Edit

  • Axe Patch -
  • Katana Patch - In the crack at City Sushi (requires gnome dust)

Lonely Edit

  • Mace Patch - 
  • Fencing Patch - South Park Gazette (Requires Gnome Dust)

Melee Fighter Edit

  • Duelist's Patch - Near the house to the left of the community center.
  • Pentagram Patch - Taco Bell (Loot from first Nazi Zombie)
  • Iron Skewers -
  • Barbarian Patch - Canada (Caverns of Quebec, looted from the six dire animals)

Ranged Edit

  • Arrow Patch - Jimmy's House (Kitchen)
  • Quiver Patch - 
  • Fingerless Glove Patch - 
  • Valkyrie Patch - Sewers (Near the beginning.)
  • Elven Archer Patch - 
  • Gauntlet Patch - Tweek Bros. Coffee (Outside, under the bench. Requires Gnome Dust.)
  • Crossbow Patch - inside the barn (Use Gnome Dust)
  • Ranger Patch - Banff (the chest on the right side of the church)
    Rangedpatch

Bzzzt! Edit

  • Circuit Patch - Stark's Pond (Sunken UFO, requires probe)
  • Jellyfish Patch - Crab People Cave (Chest. Requires Nagasaki)

Ability Damage Edit

  • Weightlifting Patch - Abilities do 10% more damage. Level 6 
  • Superhero Patch - Clyde's Fortress (Heal Wendy BEFORE destroying the gargoyles)

Armor Edit

  • Suit of Armor Patch -
  • Alien Defensive Matrix - 
  • Samurai Warrior Patch - Police station Roof
  • Exoskeleton Patch - Crab People cave (Right side.)
  • Self Defense Patch - In the crack at City Sushi (requires gnome dust)
  • Tactical Armor Pad - Mr. Slave's Ass (Loot from a SWAT soldier)

Bulky Edit

  • Elvish Loyalty Patch - Elven Kingdom (Near the base of the tree.)
  • Miner's Patch - Your room (Loot from underpants gnome during Defeat the Underpants Gnomes.)
  • Brown Badge of Courage - Mr. Slave's Ass (Stomach)
  • Tactical Armor Patch -

Fan the Flames Edit

  • Flame Patch - In the School. From KO´ed elf with basketball go right and destroy the plank. 
  • Ghost Pepper - Mr. Slave's Ass (Chest just past the flashlight)

Frost Edit

  • Snowball Patch - South Park Elementary (In the vent area. Requires probe)
  • Avalanche Awareness Patch - South Park Elementary (Outside, on the left, near the woods. Use gnome dust to shrink down and go into the log.)

Full of PP! Edit

  • Daywalker's Patch - South Park Elementary (Loot from one of the gingers in the basement)
  • Federation Patch - Kevin Stoley's house (Parent's bedroom)

Magnets Edit

  • Buckyball Magnets -
  • Small Magnet - Kyle's house (Garage.)

Surge Edit

  • Bow and Arrow Patch - Jimmy's House (Attic)
  • Cheerleader's Patch - In Mr. Makey's office at the school. Behind the desk.  
  • Flaming Sword Patch - Tower of Peace (2nd floor, requires key from same floor)
  • Action Hero Badge - Movie Theater
  • Shard of a Beer Bottle - Street merchant
  • Shit-stained Badge - Outside Kenny's house
  • Red Cross Badge - Storage center roof
  • Cross Swords Patch -
  • Snowflake Patch - On top of Photo Dojo (Requires probe)
  • Amazon Patch - 
  • Sword Patch - South Park Elementary (Loot from Stan, if you sided with the Humans)
  • Boxing Badge - South Park Elementary (Loot from a foe at the fire hose, in the cafeteria)
  • South Park Cows Patch - South Park Elementary (In the vent area. Requires probe.)
  • Battery Label - South Park Elementary (Basement)
  • Burning Skull Patch - 
  • Sword and Shield Patch - 
  • Don't Tread on Me Patch - Your parent's dresser during Defeat the Underpants Gnomes.
  • Mr. Yuck Patch -
  • Frozen Skull Patch - 
  • High Voltage Warning Label -
  • Ankh Pendant - 
  • Dairy Council Patch - Clyde's fortress (Gnome tunnel)

Blessed Edit

  • Jesus Loves Me Patch - Unplanned Parenthood (pipe near the dead soldier with the grenade)

Healer's Balm Edit

  • Healer's Patch - 
  • Socialized Medicine Patch - Banff General Store
  • Purple Heart Badge - 

Regeneration Edit

  • Bubble Gum Wrapper - South Park Elementary (Loot from ginger boss)
  • Candy Bar Wrapper -
  • Rock Candy Wrapper - South Park Elementary (First room of the basement)
  • Golden Ticket - South Park Bank (Use Gnome Dust and go through the hole behind the desk.)

Thorns Edit

  • Studded Dog Collar -
  • Thorny Branch - 
  • Demon Claw - Banff General Store
  • Barbed Wire Patch - reward for collecting all 30 Chinpokomon 

Vengeance Edit

  • ManBearPig Ear - 
  • White Whale Patch - Jimbo's Chest (after completing his quest) 
  • Six-Fingered Hand Patch - Clyde's Fortress (Shop)

Battle Rage Edit

  • Berserker Patch - Clyde's Fortress (Ground level, the chest right at the entrance)

Cautious Edit

  • Turtle Patch - Jimbo's Chest (after completing his quest) 

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