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次级神器

Minor Artifacts are the first ones available in game, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many bonuses to further develop the teams strength. The team bonuses is limited to Ultimate Recovery, Knockback Combo, and Status Effect. The Minor Artifacts are divided into two kinds, Collectible and Crafted.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Collectible Artifacts are Artifacts that can be collected in the game, they have very specific might and buffs. The method to obtain them varies, including succeeding in combat, given through plot, or simply purchased at the store. Note that some stores provides unique artifacts that cannot be bought anywhere else.

图片 名称 战力 增益 获取条件
Junior Coon Friend Gyro(初级陀螺) 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +11 Obtained from the mission Birth of a Coon Friend.
Wasteland Velocitor(荒原疾镖) 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +11, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Loot from the bag hidden in a snow pile located next to Bebe's House.
Armageddon Leaf(末日绿叶) 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15 Defeat the Sixth Graders in the mission Rise of the Fourthies.
Pride of Nippopolis(霸波之傲) 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Knockback Combo +105% Bring down the item down to the floor inside the master bedroom of Kyle's House with Snap N Pops, then loot it.
Anarchic Receptor(暴乱天线) 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 1 in-game.
Repulsor Vial(推斥药瓶) 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Knockback Combo +44%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 1 in-game.
Compendium of Chests(胸器纲领) 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Ultimate Recovery +14% Loot it from one of the drawers of the mayor's office inside South Park City Hall.
Vitality Chalice(朝气金杯) 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Ultimate Recovery +15% Defeat the Raisins Girls in the mission Mosquito in a Honey Pot.
Terrorizing Blade(惊惧利刃) 30 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Knockback Combo +52%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Defeat Mr. Daniels in the mission Operation: Just 'Cause.
Hate Forge 30 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Status Effect +12%, Knockback Combo +52% Defeat the rednecks in the mission The Talk.
Purity Bond(净身之带) 31 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +23, Status Effect +12%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Defeat the priests in the mission A Touch of Faith.
Amulet of Contemplation(沉思之坠) 33 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +24, Status Effect +20% Loot from the chest located inside the passcode protected storage room inside South Park Church.
Precarious Penetrator(疑忌穿破) 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Status Effect +18% Open the bathtub pipe with Snap N Pops inside the bathroom of Big Gay Al's House, then drop the plunger into the bathtub. Collect it once it has floated above the water inside the bathtub.
Sonic Fecalizer(音波便辑) 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Purchase it from any General Vendor store.
Flask of Orgasmic Power(高潮之饮) 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Status Effect +8%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store.
Mouth of Malice(祸心之口) 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Ultimate Recovery +24% Purchase it from Photo Dojo. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Photo Dojo, it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Vessel of Bacchus(酒神铜舟) 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +8%, Knockback Combo +35% Defeat Beer Drunk Randy in the mission A Randy Mystery.
Bedazzling Orb(炫目天珠) 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Loot it from the chest located near the entrance of the management office inside Peppermint Hippo.
Reaming Rod of Gargantua(巨灵绞杆) 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Purchase it from the bar inside Peppermint Hippo. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Peppermint Hippo, it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Alien Probe Mk. II(黑暗探针) 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +20% Obtained from the DLC Relics of Zaron.
Wreath of Elf Ears(精灵耳圈) 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Ultimate Recovery +15% Obtained from the DLC Relics of Zaron.
Hoops of Wonder(神异之环) 42 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +31, Status Effect +8%, Knockback Combo +26% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 2 in-game.
Ego Blaster(自我爆轰) 44 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Knockback Combo +37%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 2 in-game.
Probability Scrambler(概率扰频) 44 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Status Effect +6%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Night 2 in-game.
Dreidel of Vengeance(复仇陀螺) 45 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat Kyle's mom and Human Kite 2 in the mission Alternate Universes Collide Again.
Banner of Exile(放逐旗帜) 50 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +37, Ultimate Recovery +8% Defeat the guard and his backups in the mission Operation: Blind Justice.
Shield of the Shining Eagle(闪亮鹰盾) 54 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +40, Knockback Combo +44%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Complete the missions Operation: Just 'Cause and Operation: Blind Justice.
Sanity Siphon(理智吸管) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45 Defeat the bums of SoDoSoPa in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Continuum Enforcer(连体行者) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +42%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Enter the warehouse next to where the shining mask is seen on the floor inside U-Stor-It. Inside the warehouse, destroy the large clock by exploding the fireworks box situated next to it, then drag the ladder all the way to the left. Climb it up and loot it from the bag at the very left in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Diabolic Inscription(万邪铭文) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +2%, Knockback Combo +42% Defeat General Disarray in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Trinity of Reflection(反映三连) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +2%, Ultimate Recovery +7% Inside a warehouse which contains a moat of electrified water in U-Stor-It, activate Timefart Pause and loot it from a bag across the moat in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Agonizer of Gaia(地母苦心) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +10%, Knockback Combo +10% Defeat the batch of Chaos minions fortified with baseball launcher turrets in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Cybernaut(机械航员) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +10% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Uncanny Idol(怪异偶像) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +70% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Bag of Retching(卑劣之袋) 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +20% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Cosmic Enigma(瀚宇谜云) 65 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +10% Loot it from the bag located on the first level floor at the SoDoSoPa ruins behind Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Capricious Cube(无常六方) 65 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +2%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available after completing the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos, also it will be only available on Day 3 in-game.
Fan of Contractual Protection(契卫之扇) 67 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +50, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Ninjas after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Oculus Grifter 69 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Randomly dropped by Crooked Cops after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Goblet of Supreme Crunk 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +52, Status Effect +8%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Defeat the pimp and his two hoes in the mission The Big Beatdown.
Shat-o-Caster 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +52, Knockback Combo +9%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Purchase it from D-Mobile. Note: This artifact is only available after completing the mission (You Can) Call on Me, also it cannot be purchased anywhere else other than D-Mobile.
Scroll of 1000 Winds(千风卷轴) 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat the Ninjas in the mission The Invitation. Note: This artifact cannot be obtained anywhere else if you decide to pay off to Mr. Kim during the selection cut scene in the mission.
Seal of Freedom(自由之印) 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Status Effect +4%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Complete the mission The Samaritan Agenda.
Horns of the Deplorable(哀叹之角) 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Status Effect +7%, Knockback Combo +32% Defeat the rednecks in the mission Always Bet on Chaos.
Idol of Inappropriate Touching(猥琐触偶) 75 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Headshot Job.
Hyper Glass(超级玻璃) 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +5%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Defeat the crooked cops at the holding cells area of Park County Police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Infectious Encryptor(传染密码) 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10%, Knockback Combo +26% Loot from the bag inside the holding cell with the faulty door in the mission The Thin White Line. Note: You will need the Timefart Pause ability to gain access looting it.
Song of the Drunk Knight(醉骑之曲) 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Loot from a bag inside the evidence room at Park County Police station in the mission The Thin White Line. Note: The evidence room has to be accessed by a vent on the wall after leaving the holding cells area as the main door will be locked.
Necrotic Scroll(败亡纸卷) 83 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Status Effect +12% Randomly dropped by Gentrified Bums after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Insidious Agenda(潜伏计划) 84 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +63, Knockback Combo +9%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Butterfly Effector(知蝶一器) 86 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Pussy of Fortune(招财猫咪) 87 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +65, Status Effect +6%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Ninjas after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Ebony Reaper(黑檀死神) 88 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +66, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Crooked Cops after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a black person.
Crustacean Modulator(甲壳调度) 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Randomly dropped by Crab People after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Necronomicon(死灵之书) 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Defeat Shub-Niggurath in the mission The Thin White Line.
Ebony Volumizer 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Knockback Combo +70%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Obtained from Morgan Freeman on Day 3 in-game. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a black person.
Chromatic Charm 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect 8%, Ultimate Recovery +12% Obtained from Call Girl in the mission (You Can) Call on Me. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a female gendered person.
Heavy Hand of Deception 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat Mitch Conner in the mission To Catch a Coon.
SphincterPlex 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Defeat the first batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Festive Verse 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat the Woodland Critters in the mission Farts of Future Past.
Elven Relic 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +12% Defeat King Douchebag in the mission Farts of Future Past.

Crafted Artifacts

Crafted Artifacts are the ones that are obtained through the Crafting app on the phone, you can have as many as you want if you have the recipe and adequate ingredients. Different from the collected ones, they can "level up" as The New Kid's crafting skills develop. Most of them have 5 levels, the highest would be "+4", as they "level up", their might changes, but their buffs do not.

Image Name Might Crafting Level Buffs Conditions
Hidden Blade 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Ultimate Recovery +15% Obtained from the "Assassin Pack" reward from Ubisoft Club.
Hidden Blade +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Hidden Blade +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Hidden Blade +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Tachyon Matrix 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Knockback Combo +88% Obtained from the "Gadget-Lover Pack" reward from Ubisoft Club.
Tachyon Matrix +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Knockback Combo +88%
Tachyon Matrix +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +88%
Tachyon Matrix +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +88%
Crystal Capacitor 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Kinetic Sigil 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Knockback Combo +61% Craft from the recipe given by Morgan Freeman.
Kinetic Sigil +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Knockback Combo +61%
Virtuous Clockwork 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Status Effect +14% Craft from the recipe given by Morgan Freeman.
Virtuous Clockwork +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Status Effect +14%
Tome of Cunning 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Ultimate Recovery +10% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Tome of Cunning +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Idol of Vitality 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Ultimate Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Idol of Vitality +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +3 37 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Divine Amplifier 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Status Effect +14% Craft from the recipe found in a bag hidden behind a snow pile by the left side of Craig's House.
Divine Amplifier +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +3 37 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Status Effect +14%
Girding Chains 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Knockback Combo +70% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near South Park Town Square.
Girding Chains +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +3 38 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Knockback Combo +70%
Scarab of R'Lyeh 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Ultimate Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating the Raisins Girls in the alley during the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Scarab of R'Lyeh +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Abyssal Timepiece 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Status Effect +12% Craft from the recipe obtained after looting from a chest inside a warehouse in U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Abyssal Timepiece +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Status Effect +12%
Skull of Sundering 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Knockback Combo +52% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Skull of Sundering +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Knockback Combo +52%
Prismatic Eye 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +10% Craft from the recipe obtained from a pouch blasted out of the bathtub with Sandblaster at the upper floor of Main Street Offices.
Prismatic Eye +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10%
Necro Clamps 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +8% Craft from the recipe obtained from a chest inside the garage of Kenny's House.
Necro Clamps +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Infernal Glyphs 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +44% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag located on a truck where a bunch of Chaos Kids can be seen guarding it inside U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Infernal Glyphs +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +44%
Spire of Domination 80 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10% Craft from the recipe obtained from defeating Mitch Conner in the mission To Catch a Coon.
Spire of Domination +1 85 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +2 90 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +3 95 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +4 100 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +75, Status Effect +10%

Major Artifacts

Major Artifacts are available later in game, usually at the last of day 1. Like Minor Artifacts, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many bonuses to further develop the teams strength. The team bonuses is limited to Bonus Ally Health, Health Recovery, and Critical Strike. Major Artifacts are divided into two kinds, Collectible and Crafted.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Similar to Minor Artifacts, some Major Artifacts are obtained by collecting them in the game, they have very specific might and buffs. The method to obtain them varies, including succeeding in combat, given through plot, or simply purchased at the store.

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Platinum Coon Friend Gyro 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7 Obtained when the first Major Artifact slot is unlocked after increasing The New Kid's Hero Rank.
Nether Talisman 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Bonus Ally Health +18% Defeat Red Wine Drunk Randy in the mission The Bowels of the Beast.
Urn of Deception 66 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Health Recovery +7%, Bonus Ally Health +9% Loot from the storage room located at the far right end of the backstage area inside Peppermint Hippo.
Effigy of the Moon 66 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Critical Strike +8%, Health Recovery +7% Loot from the chest located above Photo Dojo. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
NeoConomicon 68 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +4%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Loot from the chest located on the upper floor inside South Park Elementary. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Gourd of Hipstering 68 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +3%, Health Recovery +10% Loot from the chest located above Steed at Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Harvester of Fognl 69 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +10%, Health Recovery +10% Break the satellite dish located above the construction office at South Park Mall, then loot it. Note: You will need the Diabetic Rage ability to gain access looting it.
Aural Disruptor 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +10%, Health Recovery +3% Purchase it from the vending machines located inside U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Metabolic Furnace 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +2%, Bonus Ally Health +12% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 2 in-game.
Magnum Dynamo 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +6%, Health Recovery +2% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 2 in-game.
Flute of Prophecy 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +9%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Break the cracks on the bottom right corner inside the garage of Craig's House by exploding the propane tank stored inside it, then loot it from the opening. Note: You will need the Diabetic Rage ability to gain access looting it.
Fuse of High Tolerance 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Health Recovery +4%, Bonus Ally Health +18% Break the "BEER" neon sign inside the living room of Kenny's House with Snap N Pops, then loot it once it has dropped on the floor.
Astral Thumper 82 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +61, Critical Strike +8%, Bonus Ally Health +24% Inside the Freedom Pals base, drag the toy car out from its parking spot located next to the Training Room, then loot it from the floor.
Luminous Enigma 83 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Health Recovery +7%, Bonus Ally Health +23% Loot it from the bag located inside the garage of Jimmy's House. Note: You will need the Sandblaster ability to gain access looting it.
Ring of Engorgement 84 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Critical Strike +10%, Bonus Ally Health +21% Loot it from the safe inside the master bedroom of Butter's House. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Gentrifying Text 85 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +63, Health Recovery +11%, Bonus Ally Health +12% Loot it from the bag located on the first level floor at the SoDoSoPa ruins behind Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Scuzzlebutt Paw 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Critical Strike +15% Purchase it from Jimbo's Guns. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Jimbo's Guns, it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Shard of the Beast 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Break the purple marble Peppermint Hippo statue inside the management office of the Peppermint Hippo, then collect it on the floor. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Gluten Necrometer 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Health Recovery +10%, Bonus Ally Health +5% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 3 in-game.
Pup o' War 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Critical Strike +10%, Bonus Ally Health +5% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 3 in-game.
Crack'd Beholder 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Critical Strike +9%, Health Recovery +9% Blast into the pipe located next to a bathtub at the upper floor of Main Street Offices (where Mrs. Testaburger is located), then loot it from a pouch which will later drop on the floor. Note: You will need the Sandblaster ability to gain access looting it.
Pedo Saber 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +3%, Health Recovery +12% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 4 in-game.
Okama Dreambox 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +6% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 4 in-game.
Energizing Codex 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +13%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Defeat Doctor Timothy in the mission The Thin White Line.
Plasma Analizer 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +18% Loot from the bag by the side corridor, inside the lab area where Jasper the mutated ape Sixth Grader is seen caged in a room during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Sentient Cyst 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +15%, Bonus Ally Health +6% Defeat Mutant Human Kite 2 in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.

Crafted Artifacts

Similar to Minor Artifacts, there are some Major Artifacts which only can be obtained through the Crafting app on the phone, you can have as many as you want if you have the recipe and adequate ingredients.

Image Name Might Level Buffs Conditions
Cosmic Clasps 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Critical Strike +12% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near Stark Pond's South.
Cosmic Clasps +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Critical Strike +12%
Optic Penetrator 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Health Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch.
Optic Penetrator +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Health Recovery +12%
Masteroid 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Bonus Ally Health +24% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Masteroid +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Berserker Wheel 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Critical Strike +12% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating Professor Chaos in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Berserker Wheel +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Critical Strike +12%
Berserker Wheel +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Critical Strike +12%
Berserker Wheel +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Critical Strike +12%
Berserker Wheel +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Critical Strike +12%
Elder Maw 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Bonus Ally Health +27% Craft from the recipe obtained after escaping the senior citizens in the mission The Samaritan Agenda, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Elder Maw +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Oracle of the Deviant 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Health Recovery +13% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating the rednecks in the mission Always Bet on Chaos, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Oracle of the Deviant +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Health Recovery +13%
Tantalum Accelerator 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +14% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag just outside of the holding cells by the second floor of the police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Tantalum Accelerator +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Annihilation Overthruster 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +13% Craft from the recipe obtained from a tool chest between the second and third floor stairway of the police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Annihilation Overthruster +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Dazzling Dervish 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Bonus Ally Health +29% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag behind two lab canisters in the wrecked lab room, where a mutant Sixth Grader can be seen killing a research personnel in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Dazzling Dervish +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%

Epic Artifacts

Epic Artifacts are the most special ones among Artifacts, they cannot be crafted with usual components or purchased with cash, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many buffs, these buffs vary, and the way to use it varies as well.

Most Epic Artifacts has a set might of 100 (with the exception of Supreme Fist of Chaos) and they only can be collected, however the DLC Bring the Crunch introduces two exclusive Epic Artifacts: one that is obtained by crafting, and another which has a Might level that can be raised in accordance to the badges obtained from the DLC's side missions.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Coon Commando Gyro 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7 Obtained when the first Epic Artifact slot is unlocked after increasing The New Kid's Hero Rank.
Vainglorious Scepter 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members gain health equivalent to number of followers in Coonstagram Rewarded when the title Master Influencer is achieved in the Character Sheet.
Chamber of Ultimate Inflation 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, All Ultimate powers are 25% more effective Loot from the safe inside the management office of the Peppermint Hippo. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Jar of Life 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +90, Regenerate 10% amount of max health each turn Loot from the fridge inside Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Golden Taco 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Equip Freckles makeup and gain 10% power effectiveness Defeat Morgan Freeman inside Freeman's Tacos.
Tumbler of Erupting Youth 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Healing items provide 100% more Health Defeat Jared in the mission The Thin White Line.
Cloven Heirloom 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Missed Critical Attacks has a 50% chance of succeeding Defeat the second batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Fanatic Visage 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 1 Move Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Headshot Job.
Big Bang Boy Buttress 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek's powers are 10% more effective Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Yaoi Project.
Triumph of the Heart 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team member in the first Allies slot gains 1 Move Complete the mission Therapy Wars.
Danger Gyro 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Inflicts Bleeding on the enemy in a successful Critical Strike Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Amaze Ball 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Heal 25% of the power value when using a Health item on a team member Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Avenging Nezumi 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When attacked, successfully pressing the prompt button inflicts Defense Down on the enemy Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Skull of Sick Burning 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When attacked, successfully pressing the prompt button inflicts Burning on the enemy Loot it from the chest located inside the treasure area of Black Bart's Cave in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Goblet of Po'Zur 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members receive Health equal to Bleeding damage on enemies Crack open the bat-shaped pinata inside the VIP room of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Resonator of Souls 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members' Spunk attribute increased by 25% At the area behind the man-made cliff inside Casa Bonita, head to the top floor where there will be a wooden beam supported by construction tape. Activate Timefart Pause, then throw Snap N Pops onto both ends of the beam. Collect it from the guitar case once the beam has fallen flat on the floor below in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Gatekeeper of R'lyeh 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knocked out team member gains Protection equal to 25% of team member's health and Attack Up when revived Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Time Reamer 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Timefart Pause punches deals 100% more damage Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Lightning Rod 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Enemies taking Shock damage from adjacent enemies is affected with the Shock status effect Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Gore Sack 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When an enemy dies, adjacent enemies become Grossed Out Loot it from the backpack at the right of the tents on the Indian burial grounds in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Shark Mating Whistle 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Summons are 25% more effective Catch the Tardicaca Freshwater Shark for the first time from the dynamite fishing mini-game in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Trailblazing Totem 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Fastpass' Powers are 30% more effective Complete the side mission Native Heritage in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Supreme Fist of Chaos 101 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 101 Might Defeat Professor Chaos in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.

Peculiar Artifacts

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Dream Catcher 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, All Allies receives 40% less damage from Status Effects Craft from the recipe found on the second rightmost tent on the Indian burial grounds in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Sash of Ultimate Merit +1 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 4% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack Obtained after earning the first merit badge from the available side missions in the DLC Bring the Crunch,each upgrade requires a new badge.
Sash of Ultimate Merit +2 105 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +78, Gain 8% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Sash of Ultimate Merit +3 110 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +11, Health +81, Gain 12% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Sash of Ultimate Merit +4 115 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +11, Health +84, Gain 16% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Sash of Ultimate Merit +5 120 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +12, Health +91, Gain 20% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Sash of Ultimate Merit +6 125 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +12, Health +93, Gain 24% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack

DNA Strands

DNA Strands are the most special in the game, they have only one slot, which means they can only be equipped one at a time. They affect the Stats in a certain percentage, and some of them give a raise to movements. Usually, a rise in some part means a fall in another,

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Image Name Buffs/Debuffs Conditions
High Pain Threshold Health +30%, Brains -25% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Inhuman Accuracy Brains +30%, Health -15% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Mutant Strength Brawn +20% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Maximum Jersey Brawns +20%, Spunk +20%, Health -15% Defeat Kyle's mom and Human Kite 2 in the mission Alternate Universes Collide Again.
Pheromone Infusion Spunk +25% Defeat the Raisins Girls in the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Mellowed Pain Receptors Health +15% Defeat Towelie in the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Judgemental Rush Move +1, Health -10% Defeat the rednecks in the mission The Talk 2: The Gendering.
Adrenal Overload Brains +40%, Health -30% Defeat the guard and his backups in the mission Operation: Blind Justice.
Empathy Surge Brains +25%, Spunk +25%, Health -15% Defeat the Freedom Pals in the mission Civil War 2: Playtime's Over.
Primal Aggression Brawn +25%, Brains +25%, Health -15% Defeat the bums of SoDoSoPa in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
The Ginger Sense Brains +10%, Spunk +30%, Brawn -20% Defeat General Disarray in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Subdermal Mutation Spunk +30%, Health +30%, Brains -50% Defeat King Crab and the Crab People in the mission (You Can) Call on Me.
Crack Baby Rage Brains +50%, Move +1, Health -30% Loot from the chest located on the upper floor of Main Street Offices (where Mrs. Testaburger is located).
Pimp Strength Brawn +25%, Brains +25% Defeat the pimp and his two hoes in the mission The Big Beatdown.
Ungodly Strength Brawn +25%, Brains +25%, Spunk +25% Defeat Shub-Niggurath in the mission The Thin White Line.
Gorilla Toughness Brawn +30%, Health +30%, Spunk -25% Defeat the first batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Homicidal Tendencies Brawn +25%, Move +1, Health -10% Loot from the glass cabinet inside the side corridor, inside the lab area where Jasper the mutated ape Sixth Grader is seen caged in a room during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Raging Hormones Spunk +40%, Health -15% Defeat the second batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Tactical Genius Brains +50%, Health -25% Loot from the glass cabinet inside the room where The New Kid's mother is seen incapacitated during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Nanobot Chassis Brawn +30%, Health +20%, Move +1 Complete the challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Touch of Youth Brains +35%, Spunk +35%, Move +1, Brawn -35%, Health -20% Defeat Corey Haim in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Psychotic Episode Brawn +50%, Brains -50%, Spunk -50%, Health +40% Defeat Nathan in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Alien Evolution Brawn +40%, Brains +40%, Spunk -20%, Health -15%, Move +1 Defeat the Zarganor in the DLC Bring the Crunch.